Wednesday, March 4, 2009


My lab has turned into wedding central. In keeping with the theme over on Randi's blog, I thought I would discuss how weddings are slightly hysterical and ridiculous. (Sorry, Randi). One of the women in my lab got engaged this past weekend. We are all thrilled for her and she is so excited to finally be settling down (she's in her late 30s). The guy seems great (and supplies us witch copious amounts of chocolate, which is great) and they seem very happy. They are starting to plan their wedding and are hopeful the Catholic Church won't make them wait very long to get married (they want to try for kids). My other labmate, Lisa, is getting married in May, a wedding I will actually be in. They are getting married outside of Chicago, near where the groom's parents live. This past weekend, they visited Chicago and all the parents were there. Apparently, there were several HUGE fights over such silly details as gifts for the guests, the colors of the shirts the groomsmen will wear, the thingy that receives the cards and whether things would look cheap (since several things were purchased on sale or on discount). Lisa was so upset when she came back, she went to the local counseling service to sort things out. I mean, really? Over a party? What on earth can be that important? I realize this is a big deal: committing your life with someone else and doing so in front of family and friends, etc. I understand. It's a big deal. What I don't understand is the hoopla. I don't get why EVERYTHING is such a big deal. I understand if you are a party person, you like to throw parties and you like to dress up a lot. OK, maybe I get that. But this bridezilla shit? I just don't understand. Grown adults fighting over party favors? People screaming and being illogical over the costs of things? Worrying about things looking cheap? Are you trying to impress someone? Who? If so, then let me out of this, because you will never impress them. Are you trying to prove something? How amazing your decorative skills are? Because, realistically, nobody is going to remember if your wedding invitations were hand printed or computer printed. Nobody is gonna care if your party favors match your colors, or anything of the sort. Most people will not remember the designer of your dress, or the color of your flowers. Here's what you will remember: Walking down the aisle to the man you love and want to spend the rest of your life with. You will remember seeing the tears in your family's eyes. You will remember how special that best man or maid of honor speech was and you will remember seeing your and your husband's families and friends together for the first time. Yes, you should feel a little bit like a princess - however, I think you always would feel that way, no matter what you are wearing and how much shellack you have on your face. The room will be filled with love, and people who are thrilled to share it with you. It's not about the gifts, or the fancy dress or the hair-don't. It's the fact that you've chosen to share this moment with people who love you - and that's the way it should be. So, the next time the colors aren't right for the ribbons, or the guest book just isn't what you wanted, think about it. It's your wedding day, the beginning of the rest of your life with the person you love. It's not the last day of your life. And it's not the end all be all of everything ever. The more expectations you put on the day, the more you will be disappointed.
And thus concludes my rant for the day...

1 comment:

Randi said...

Dude, exactly. I remember at my brother's wedding that the green napkins didn't match the green decorations and it was ACTUALLY DISCUSSED.
That's why I was like "Black and white." Can't fuck that up.