Philth-a-delphia

So, the most recent ad campaign for Philadelphia Tourism is all over the city right now. It's "With love, Philadelphia" (as in, the sign off to a postcard) and it's part of the "Philadelphia, the city that loves you back" ad campaign that's been going on for a few years. There are signs all up and down Broad St saying "With love, Philadelphia" in several different languages, I suppose trying to show you how cosmopolitan we can be here in the city. I think this whole campaign is kinda funny. Aside from NYC, I have never been to a place filled with such anger and impatience. People are not nice here. And if you are nice to them, they're suspicious (like, what do you want from me?). There is traffic everyday, at rush hour, as expected. Yet, everyday, people are honking the hell out of their horns all the time. Homeless people masturbate on the sidewalk. People are screaming all the time and most weekends, there are roving bands of drunken Jersey fools screaming various forms of the "F" word for all the world to hear. Don't get me wrong, I love Philly. I think it's eclectic and rough around the edges and full of working class neighborhoods where families have lived there for decades. I am pretty sure it's where "stickball" originated, and man, are we nuts about sports. But lets not misrepresent, right? I mean, yes, we have world class museums, wonderful universities, great art, music and theatre. But I guarantee you, you will see someone pissing on the side of the road as you make your way to said places. I'm not sure there is an ad campaign that would tout that (or would want to) but Alex and I came up with some "ironic" slogans just for fun. Let me know what you think!

• Philadelphia: We're really fucking trying, OK?
• Philadelphia: Buy your guns here!
  
• Philadelphia: Teach your kids the proper way to use curse words all in one trip!
• Philadelphia: Yes, that man is jacking off, honey.
• Philadelphia: You better not be wearing the other team's jersey or we will kick your ass.
• Philadelphia: Didja hear me?
• Philadelphia: We will SERIOUSLY kick your ass, even if you're a grandma!
• Philadelphia: What the fuck?
• Philadelphia: Don't expect bus drivers to help you.
  
• Philadelphia: What corruption?
• Philadelphia: What do you mean cheesesteaks and pretzels are not a food group?