Tuesday, November 17, 2009


My labmate is graduating. She's a year ahead of me and has been working on her thesis for a while. She's not really sure what to do with herself after she graduates, so she's been exploring lots of different career options. She's limited to a certain area because her husband has a job at a somewhat local school, and the economy's been shitty (as if you hadn't noticed). Having worked in industry, I keep encouraging her to stay patient and on top of things and that, eventually, she'll get the job she wants. Sometimes it's hard to take your own advice. You see, I have a problem with my boss. I need to publish at least one first author paper in order to graduate. I will have done enough work for (hopefully) three first author papers by the time I'm ready to graduate. My boss has some weird aversion to publishing. He doesn't like to read the things you send him unless it's under a deadline. When I wrote a grant with him a few years ago, I was up all night the night before, getting revisions from him until 3AM. Honestly, it was kind of a nightmare since I'm not really a procrastinator. I try to finish things up with plenty of time. So, on top of all the worry and anxiety of dealing with and getting through grad school, I have to now figure out a way to get my boss to read and critique and publish my papers. It's pretty stressful to say the least. I'm also trying to consider where I will go next, what I want to work on, what type of environment I want to look for and where I want to live. Needless to say, I've got a lot of anxiety in my life right now. I've been trying to develop my "patience" skill. I don't have a lot of it, especially since I moved East. It's definitely a skill I'd like to develop! I've also been running a lot. I run at least three times a week. It feels great to get out all that energy and decompress. I don't listen to my headphones, I don't do anything but focus on my breathing and my stride and I run. It makes me feel like a kid again (although I don't have nearly the amount of endurance or energy as I did when I was a kid). I'm not very fast, and I probably have all the wrong form. But it helps. And I just have to trust that when the time comes, things will work out for the best.

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