Monday, March 17, 2008

Letters to Jerks.

Dear Jerk,
I realize that this past weekend and today are some kind of holiday for drunkards and generally I have no problem with that. I do, however, have a problem with your drunken ass trying to molest me in broad daylight as I am walking down the street. I am not some dumb drunk New Jersey chick who thinks you're "hot". I never want to be groped by some drunk ass guy who just drove into the city from suburb-nowhere and thinks that "Irish Pub" is a great place to hang out. Go home. We certainly don't need the likes of you around here.

Dear Other Jerk(s),
Let me introduce myself. I'm a pedestrian. That's ped-es-tri-an. Try to sound it out now. I walk most places because I don't have a car. Try to follow me now. When it's snowing, I walk. When it's raining, I walk. When it's blustery and cold, I walk. I don't have a heater or warm car to return to after a long day of work. I walk. Got that so far? So, here's the deal. When you drive into the city, there are more pedestrians here than in your little land of suburbia. You have a watch out for us because, unlike you, we are not surrounded by 2 tons of metal. There are these little areas called crosswalks that have been painted into the ground to designate areas where you should not place your car. It's because we have to cross the street and we need a place to walk where we won't get hit by cars. When you pull into these crosswalks, you see, we can't cross the street. Or, we have to wait until traffic is lighter to go around your giant vehicle. Get a clue, would you? Oh, and while you're at it, right hand turns on red are illegal in the city because of pedestrians. Start learning how to drive and pay attention to us pedestrians (and cyclists, too) because we don't have the same protection you have. And chances are that the 30 seconds you would save by making that right on red has no effect on your life. Chill out.

Phew...that makes me feel better!

1 comment:

Randi said...

Back with a vengeance!
Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!