Thursday, March 25, 2010

Book Club: The Commitment by Dan Savage

I loved this book. As someone considering heading into the realm of marriage, I think this book does justice to the idea of "commitment" and "marriage" and what they mean to modern couples today. I'm not sure this is an actual "gay manifesto" as it is made out to be. I think it's more of a person's struggle with the idea of marriage and the whole idea of "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". I think it's hard to understand how different marriage is now as compared to it in our grandparents (or even parents) age. I have multiple friends who cohabitate and have made a "commitment". I have friends who are married, yet engage in "swinging" or partner exchange, or whatever you might want to call it. I know people who have had kids and THEN decided to get married. As for myself, my boyfriend and I have lived together for years, yet something (societal or familial or maybe something more) pushes us to "validate" our relationship by getting married. I think Savage lends an honest glimpse into what his relationship with Terry is like, and concludes that it might not be what your relationship is like with your partner. I think the nice thing about marriage now is that we can define it how we want to define it - as open, closed, common law, multiple partner, etc. I think that gay people should have the right to do the same thing (to perhaps screw it up as much as us straight folks have?). Savage's writing is easy, entertaining, and funny. I laughed out loud more often than not and am very glad to have read this prior to making a decision on getting married. Savage humanizes the debate, putting his family at the middle of it (I would love to see what Dobson et al think of Terry, the stay-at-home-dad, or the kid who opposes gay marriage). It comes down to the idea that life isn't perfect, you can't plan everything and live and let live. I loved, loved, loved this book and highly recommend it.

I posted this in the comments section of the book club discussion as well. Comments here are disabled, to comment, head here.