Year End Wrap Up

Tiring

Man, I am telling you. Just try moving 3000 miles from home and try to escape the never ending plethora of people who want to see you while you're home. Yah, I'm that popular. Granted, I love seeing people more than I love sitting at home doing nothing, but still. Holy Moly. Oh, and try a reminder of why I despise LA. Sat in traffic for 4 hours trying to get to a Christmas party Sat night. Four hours! And you know how far away it really is? An hour and a half. Jeez! Anyways, don't get me wrong. I love coming home. So much better than the freezing ass cold it is in Philly right now. However, I am looking forward to some potential couch/beer/bonding time with Randi tonight. Lordy, lordy is it good to have friends!

Haiku Headin' Home Friday

Flight to CA tonight
Hoping everything is on
time and I have seat.

***

Leaving the boyfriend
to head home to his home town
Sucks to be apart.

***

Old friends, family
Christmas cheer, toasts, good food, naps
I can't wait for it!

Book Report Thursday

I finished reading Robert Bausch's A Hole in the Earth a few weeks ago and never posted anything interesting about it (as far as I can remember). Upon Cod's recommendation a while ago, I checked out this book from the Penn library, hoping to enjoy some light reading. What I found was not necessarily "light" reading and I am still not sure what my opinion is of this book. We follow Henry Porter, a middle aged, single man whose life is turned upside down one summer. His daughter from a previous marriage turns up (having just graduated high school and turned 18) and his girlfriend of several years tells him she's pregnant. Henry is a school teacher with very little money, so he supplements his income with gambling at the racetrack, which is one of the reasons his first wife left him. I am not sure if this novel is an accurate representation of a middle aged man not wanting to take responsibility for his life or if its the representation of a whiny, immature little boy who never grew up. I so disliked the main character during the first few chapters that I could barely get myself to read the book. Thankfully, the chapters are short and quick so that made it easier to get through. As we grow older, our focus tends to be more on those around us than ourselves and our lives. Narcicissm and insularity are reserved for our adolesence and college years and then we have to grow up and take responsiblity for our lives. I think this book is about this man's journey to that point (at 40!) but to be honest with you, I could not identify with any of the characters, save for maybe the 18 year old daughter. Henry hems and haws over his girlfriend's pregnancy, worrying about telling his family (you're 40 for crissake!) and his daughter and how he will be perceived. He fixates on how much his father hates him and how much of a disappointment he's been to his entire family. And yet, he does nothing to change his life of make improvements of things. He does nothing to take responsiblity for the family he has and the family that is just beginning. He leaves his girlfriend hanging and eventually helps her to see the light that he is not the greatest guy and she should just raise the kid on her own. I think I disliked Henry so much because he was lazy and he was not proactive. He just let things happen to him without taking part in his own life. He never fully took control of his predicament, allowing people to come and go in and out of his life without the slightest inclination towards trying to keep them in (or out of) his life. He complained and made up ridiculous excuses for why things were the way they were without really doing anything about it, which really pisses me off in general. And then he disappears. Without a trace. At the time when people need him the most, he leaves. Granted, he does come back in the end. But his behavior throughout the book set the tone. No matter what he did at the end, I was convinced he would always be the guy that lets stuff happen instead of getting things done. And, unfortunately, this is just not someone I can identify with.
As for the book itself, I must admit after the first several chapters I really got into it. I guess just because I didn't like the character, I was somehow invested in their lives and wanted to know how things turned out. I did wake up super early one morning and read the last 150 pages because I couldn't put the book down or get it out of my mind. I think once I accepted that I did not like the title character and that I don't always have to identify with characters, the book became easier to read. Bausch is an excellent writer, forming images in my head that persist weeks later. Altogether, it was a difficult book to get through, but I think it was well worth it. It has made me think aboutmy own life and why I've had such a visceral dislike of the title character. And it's kept me thinking about it for several weeks. That, to me, is the sign of a good book.

One Day Late

Borrowed from Randi:

1. 5 things on your Christmas wish list. An IPod Nano, shirt, sweater, thank you notes, diamond anything :)
   
2. 5 things on your tree, (if you’ve put one up yet.) An Oscar, lots of Pooh ornaments, some crazy kitty ornaments, swaddling clothes, and candy canes.
   
3. 5 of your Christmas traditions. Christmas Eve with Randi and family, early morning present opening while eating Grandma's coffee cake and pears, a fire in the fireplace Christmas morning, baking up a storm with my mom, watching lots of Christmas-themed movies.
   
4. 5 things you like about Christmas. The lights, the chill in the air, the decorations, the cheesy music I can sing out loud, seeing family and friends.
   
5. 5 things you don’t like about Christmas. The impatience, the expectation of finding the perfect gift, the debt, too much indulgence, too little time.
   

Oh, Tannenbaum

Perhaps it's the many years in Christian school, but kitty under the tree always makes me think of this:

And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out to the city of Nazareth, into Judea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:) To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child. And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered. And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David, a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

Yes, kitty is Jesus. And the Oscar is an angel. Don't you agree?

Monday Morning Quarterbacking

This past weekend was great. I'm doing this outreach project with some local high school kids and I got to hang out with them Friday afternoon to come up with some cool science fair projects they can do. I loved chatting with the kids (they are really smart) and I loved getting to know one of the undergrads I'll be working with. It's so great to get out in the community since I'm always just in lab, doing my own thing. I am really excited to see where our projects will go.
Friday night, we watched this weird movie with some friends of ours. Let me tell you, do not watch Gummo. It's horrible. And awful. And just a terrible movie altogether. It was fun to watch it with other like-minded individuals, tho. We had a blast critiquing it fer shure.
On Saturday, Alex and I took some Latin dance lessons and signed up to take some more. It's part of my birthday present, I we had a blast! It was so fun to just let loose, not have to do well, and crack up a lot. We hit the defunct Ben Franklin museum for some giggles and then hit up Triumph Brewing Co for some lunch. We lucked out and scored some tickets to Hairspray for Sat night. It was a blast - I was singing and dancing in my seat the whole time (yes, I'm one of those!). It was a fun-filled day all around. On Sunday, I did some shopping around town and I've started to prepare to head home for the holidays. I'm bummed out that Alex won't be there, but I think it's great we both get to see our families. I am sure one day soon enough, we'll have to coordinate two families, kids, and all that crazy jazz. It's nice to not have to do that yet! Anyways, just a few more days to crank it out and then home to relax. So looking forward to it!

Political Wednesday

I don't have much to say except this: while I am sure both male and female politicians are involved in corrupt back room dealings, only the men are stupid enough to get caught. Seriously, trying to sell Obama's vacated Senate seat for half a million? How stupid can you get? Buying prostitutes while in office? Seriously, fellas. You are not invincible, you are an elected official. Stop dicking around and do your job.

Haiku Getting Started Friday

High School, man, how long
has it been? Lockers, Backpacks
Long, crowded hallways.

***

Went back yesterday
Helping with the science fair.
Kids are super smart!

***

Planning some fun stuff.
Play with glowing fish, fruit flies
So much fun to teach!

My Favorite Part of the Macy's Parade (belated)

At Long Last

The phenomenal South Street Bridge is closing this coming week. I can't believe an era that started in 1924 is over (thank god!). The bridge, as you can see, is crumbling to bits and I am so glad they've decided, even in this shitty economy, to shut 'er down. For posterity, I decided to take some pics since they'll be tearing this sucker down in a few days.

What I see every day walking to work.

See, the sign says so!

It's become a haven for artists of all types (some talented and some not). I've always enjoyed my walks into work to see what's new.

I personally enjoy the eyeball. Unfortunately, they painted over all the naked pics that were posted.

But, seriously, when you have to repair sidewalks with metal plates, I think it's time to go.

You can actually see the freeway below through this!

And the "turrets" are crumbling beyond belief.

But the view of the city you can't beat. I'll miss you, SSB. Mostly because you're the most direct route from my house to my work. But also, you've represented the crumbing infrastructure and blight that most cities are facing these days. I hope the destruction of this bridge and the building of a new one represent a "new day" for our American cities. And more jobs. And a better economy. And a better President. Oh, wait, we already got that!

Dear India

I am so sorry for what they've done to you. I've never felt more welcomed or more overwhelmed in another country. To take advantage of your openness, your attempts to allow all individuals live together in harmony, is disgusting. I'm apalled at the brazen terrorist attacks in Mumbai and only hope that healing will begin soon.

Lurky Turkey

On the Eve of Thanksgiving
I'm looking forward to
baking pies and eating
watching parades, too.

A few people coming over
Some football to watch
Missing my family
Hoping the turkey we won't botch!

Coming down with a cold
Bundling up inside
Convinced Alex we need
warmth by the fireside.

Here's to you and yours
A happy, happy day
Filled with laughter, warmth and love
And some booze on the way!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
And special thanks to Cod, for the inspiration :)

Birthday Weekend Wrap-up - A Reflection on Age

So, my birthday, for once, fell on the weekend before Thanksgiving, instead of it's usual during Thanksgiving weekend, so I thought I would have a party. I go to school with a fair number of people, so I thought it would be fun to invite some friends and hang out. I spent a fair amount of Friday night as well as all day Saturday making food, baking a cake, cleaning house, etc. By the time it was party time, I was pretty pooped. I always make too much food, even though I am not from the Midwest. I feel it's important to have snacks on hand while drinking. The party was fun, although the air was FRIGID. Man, was it cold! The cool thing about that, tho, was that the backyard turned into our fridge. All the beer and white wine was stored outside - something we've never been able to do in CA. I guess there are some good things about living east. Anyways, people didn't start showing up until 10ish, and the party got underway. There was not a really ridiculous crowd, just small groups of people hanging out. A couple friends brought friends, which was cool. I had a nice time chatting with people and all that jazz. At some point in the night, somebody threw up in the bathroom sink (which is, like, 2 feet away from the toilet - how hard was it to make it to the toilet?) and someone ripped the cover off a magazine I had in the bathroom. The next day, we noticed that the wall leading up the stairs had a big smudge on it, and the kitchen floor was a sticky mess that attracted a large horde of ants. While all of these things are minor, and the party was a nice time, it kinda left a bad taste in my mouth. Don't get me wrong, I had a lovely birthday, I just think next year I might do something different. For one, I didn't get to talk to everyone I wanted to talk to. I didn't really get to hang with the folks I wanted to hang with, and I found myself still up and chatting to people who came to my house basically for the free booze at 2:30am. We had some randoms and we had some stragglers, and we even had some people there who I did not want there at all. It's funny because when I was in college, we used to have huge parties with kegs and tons of people. We rarely had any problems, and we always had a blast, with the stereo blasting, dancing in the living room, and the keg and bar out back. We'd have randoms and stragglers, but usually it was a so fun and I loved it. Now, at the age of 31, I've begun to realize that what I really want in my busy, hectic life, is a chance to sit and chat with my friends, who I don't often get to catch up with. I've got a lot of acquaintances, and a fair number of people I'd call friends, and most of us are not really into the "party" scene anymore. I'll have a few drinks over the course of the night, but I gotta tell you, that hangover the next day is just not worth it for me. So, what happened at my party was that most of the people who I wanted to show up did not, and most of the people who I did not want to show up, did. So, it's made me learn a lesson on the first day of my 31st year. My next party will be a dinner party, where we can sit around and tell funny stories and get to know one another. I'll have a couple bottles of wine and a birthday cake and I will have a great time. I think I might be done throwing the random "Come One, Come All" party. I am certainly somewhat done attending them. And I can say I've learned a valuable lesson. At my age, it's not important to make more and more friends. It's important to keep the ones you have. I hope it's the beginning of a beautiful year :) Thank you all for the birthday wishes. I wish we all lived closer to celebrate together :)

Dear Mayor Nutter,

Look, I know that Philadelphia is facing a pretty big budget problem. I understand that the entire economy is tanking and that there's something that we should do in order to make ends meet in terms of the city and its fiscal health. However, closing libraries and public pools is not the answer. Kids already have a hard enough time finding things to do and places to go after school on the weekends. Apparently, malls are even kicking them out. But closing a bunch of the library branches? This is beyond ridiculous. Especially in this bad economy, we, as citizens, needs places we can go for free entertainment and distraction. The Philadelphia Free Library is a wonderful library system that lends videos, DVDs, books, manuscripts, newspapers, etc. They provide a safe and warm environment for kids to go to for research. There are free computers and access to community groups. There are meeting places for local charities, lectures on myriad interests (I once saw Will Shortz of NY Times Crossword Puzzle Fame) and a plethora of things to do, explore and learn. When I was a kid, I visited the Oxnard Public Library every week with my Grandma, and I am pretty sure I checked out every Nancy Drew book they had at the library. Kids need access to good books, lots of them, and they need encouragement to read and write as often as possible. The library is a center for education, a center for community awareness, and a way to get in touch with your neighbors, your roots, anything you might be interested in. To close a library because of a budget shortfall is a disgrace to this city and and insult to education (which we are trying to improve around here!). And while I'm at it, please don't close those public pools! There are so few here in the city, and they are not open for very long (two months at most). They provide employment for local kids, a place to learn how to swim in a safe environment, and a great place to cool off in the dead heat of summer. The public pools are safe, popular and a great place for kids to hang out in the summer. Please don't elminate these perks (the very few) that our neighborhoods enjoy. I understand you are taking a pay cut (as are many other city employees), which I commend you for. I also understand you are working hard to make the budget balanced, which is something your predecessors may not have done. I think those are all good things to try to do. But when you are cutting services that are so popular, so needed in most of our city neighborhoods, you are asking us to sacrifice too much. We'd like to see the city sacrifice some of it's self instead of taking away our perks. Many things have been suggested, like changing to a computer based system to eliminate paper waste. What about increasing recycling? The city can definitely make money off that. Please, Mayor Nutter, think about this. A whole generation of kids growing up without libraries? I can't bear to think about it.

Weekend Wrap Up

This past weekend sent Alex and I into suburbia, pretending to live in the vast outreaches of our grand old city. We rented a car and drove out to the western Philly 'burbs and then headed down to Dela-where? for some shopping. As we soon discovered, the only good thing about Delaware is that it has no sales tax. Meaning, the price tag on that thing is what you pay. How weird, right? The mall was filled with bored kids and over-wrought parents and old folks. We ate at Red Robin (not very good, by the way). And we checked out a sign that met us at the entrance to the mall saying that "Parental Guidance Required". I'm sorry, what? The sign basically said that kids under 17 years old were required to have a parent with them at all times. What a dumb rule! I think I started going to the mall alone (with Randi, of course) around 12 or 13 years old. It was a great way to get away from your parents, check out a bargain movie, and sift through each and every store in the mall 100 times. Seriously, I have NO idea how we spent an ENTIRE day at the teeny, tiny 'Splanade, but we did. And we had a blast. What are kids today supossed to do? Sit around and play video games? At least you're walking around in the mall. I feel really bad for kids growing up in Delaware. How boring. Anyways, after the mall, we hit the liquor store and then another mall w/ Target and Petsmart and all those great places. Then it was time for hibachi dinner (which was great, although he threw the shrimp at my cleavage instead of my mouth!) and then we saw the new Bond movie. The theatre was really, really nice - way fancier than anything we have here in the city. And I wasn't that surprised to pay $10.25 for a movie, since I thought the experience would be pretty fun - I mean, there's no other way to watch a James Bond flick than at the theatre, right? Luckily, we got into a later show so it wasn't too crowded. And the seats were super comfy and no one lit up their cell phone during the film (surprisingly) since there had to be 100 warnings to turn off your phone before the movie. The sound was kinda fucked up, but otherwise the film was excellent. Lots of violence and lots of noise. And damn if Daniel Craig is not the sexiest thing I've seen in a long time. They've finally given an opportunity to a female lead to have something to do with the plot, so I liked that the Bond girl was not a constant "damsel in distress". Altogether it was a good film, with great car chases and even a dogfight scene, which was pretty rad. As always, it hits a little to close to home and you wonder if that's how things operate in large first-world governments, but I try not to dwell on it too much. To sum up our trip to the 'burbs, it was a nice change from the status quo, but I am glad I live in the city. I think there's a more heterogenous population here, and I get to experience different things, as opposed to the chain restaurants and stores that spread all over the place. I'm sure we'll be back, but hopefully not soon :)
Oh, and BTW, whoever said a Ford Focus is a nice car is delusional. It does not even have headlights that illuminate the road in front of you! And it's so light, it's super squirrely on wet roads. No thank you!

Know what?

I just feel blah today. It's raining and chilly out and my head's a bit of a mess - the first of the winter colds coming on? Yesterday, I went to a seminar entitled "Finding Balance in your Life". It was pretty interesting, but they spent more time trying to help us identify when we felt out of balance that telling us ways to combat it. I think I've felt out of balance all week because I am writing a paper with the most anal person on the planet. He's been questioning my data, questioning my presentation of my data and been all around condescending and snobby about the whole affair. Oh yeah, AND he's another student. What a pain in the ass. The paper is due tomorrow or Sat, so hopefully my boss will get a chance to read it and make comments on it soon. And it's comforting to know that a few weeks from now I might have my first publication! Whoopee! OK, now I am going to crawl back into my little hole and finish working on the paper....

A Lesson Learned

I often find it hard to think about the future and where I want to go and what I want to do with my life. I've been in school for just over 5 years now and will soon be finishing up and heading off into the great unknown. It's scary to move on from something I've been doing for a while and someplace I'm comfortable and a city I know pretty well. But at the same time, I can feel that old familiar "chomping a the bit" feeling. Remember that from grade school or college? That, "Let me outta here! I'm ready to fly!" feeling? Yeah, I get that sometimes. So last Friday, I attended a happy hour / talk given by 4 past members of our program on what they've done since they graduated and what their jobs are like. It was a really interesting talk; it was great to see some familiar faces. But it was also such a great reminder that life is a journey, not a destination. I have such a hard time remembering that sometimes; it's great to be reminded of it. When I was in college, I worked my ass off, sometimes taking 20 units (during a quarter, it's not that easy!). I would spend hours in the library or at the UCen studying, writing papers, catching up on literature. I did make time for my friends and I did get to spend a lot of time on the beach (studying, of course!) and, altogether, I really had a blast. But my last quarter at school, I really started to look around. I started to appreciate my lectures and the teachers who were giving them. I started to look at my fellow students in a different light. I started to "stop and smell the roses", so to speak. I hung out with my friends a lot more, invited new people to our parties, attended as many fun things as I could. I went out on dates with guys I would never have considered dating before. I met people and enjoyed them and really had such a great time. It made my last few months at school so much more special. And when I think about college, I think about those last few months and it always puts a smile on my face. Why isn't my life more like that? I am always working to get somewhere, do something, reach some sort of arbitrary goal without stopping to appreciate my surroundings and my life as I know it. And it all happens so fast. People come and go, the seasons change, the earth keeps spinning, yet I am always working to make something happen, can't wait til this is over, etc. Life is a journey and we all make our own paths. There's not one right or wrong way to do something. We'll all get there someday. But today, I'm going to try to remember to stop, appreciate, and notice what's going on around me. Maybe you should try it, too :)

Haiku Historic Friday

What a week, you guys!
History happening right
before our own eyes.

***

Our first African
American President
headed to White House.

***

Hope he can turn it
around: economy, jobs,
wars, rights, taxes, change.

***

Barak's got a lot
to deal with. I hope we can
come together now.

Dear California,

"We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness." quoted from the Declaration of Independence by Thomas Jefferson, 1776.

The Fourteenth Amendment to the US Constitution states that "no state shall ... deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the law".

What was Prop 8 really about? Was it really about "protecting marriage", or was it really a thinly veiled act of discrimination? I would argue the latter and would hope that if not the Supreme Court of CA, then most certainly the US Supreme Court would strike down this CA Constitutional Amendment based on the clauses I quoted above. Marriage, as viewed by the state, is a contract two people enter into to share properties, taxes, children, etc. The states recognize these unions, and as such, people are treated differently. For example, you cannot be compelled to testify in court against your spouse. You have the legal right to make decisions on the health care of your spouse in an emergency. You would file taxes together as a couple and the government would recognize you as a joined entity, not two individuals, if you so choose. Each of you owns 50% of your collective properties. There are lots of ways that a government would recognize a marriage that have nothing to do with religion whatsoever (remember that whole "separation of church and state" Constitutional Amendment?). Marriage in a church is a whole different matter, and can be defined however that church wants to define marriage. I believe in separation of Church and State because I don't want some religious people telling me what to do with my time and my money. And I also believe that the religious have no right in saying who can and cannot get married. I also think that passing a Constitutional Amendment defining marriage as only between a man and a woman by a slight majority is ludicrous. Amendments to the US Constitution must be approved by a two-thirds majority, not barely above 50%.
And really, what is their argument? That your children will be "indoctrinated" into the "gay culture"? What the hell does that mean? Is gay a cult? Is it like Scientology? Is it outlawed in Germany? No. Homosexuality has been clearly defined as something you are born as. Just as you are born black or white or Asian or African. Just as you are born with blue eyes or brown, black hair or red, weird toes or long defined fingernails. It's in your DNA. It's in your wiring. You are just wired that way. It has nothing to do with how you are raised, what your parents are like, how many Broadway shows you saw as a kid. There is nothing wrong with being gay. It just is. Get over it. You cannot catch it, your kid will not be "indoctrinated" into it, there is nothing wrong with being gay. What might happen (god forbid) is that people might be more tolerant of homosexuals. Maybe some kids might feel more comfortable coming out of the closet. Maybe more people might be supportive. Perhaps fewer and fewer young homosexuals will come close to suicide. Perhaps our culture as a whole will become more accepting of everyone, no matter what their orientation or color or creed is. I know that if I had kids, I would want them to know I love them no matter what. I would want them to feel comfortable being themselves. And I would want them to be allowed to get married to whomever they choose and to have those rights under the law. I firmly believe this is another clear civil rights movement. And I am behind you 100%. Straight but not narrow. And ready to fight!