Monday, June 23, 2008

Boda Wrap Up

Dear Philly Car Share,
I love you. You are amazing and convenient and altogether a great idea. Keep up the good work.

Dear New Jersey,
HEY THERE! Why does it cost $6 to drive the entire length of the state on your beloved "turnpike", but $8 to cross a g-damn bridge? And seriously, the signs saying "No Photos" aren't really gonna stop terrorists if they want to blow up a bridge. Just sayin'.

Dear Long Island,
Look, you seem allright, although I prolly won't ever return to your areas. But seriously, having "Merrick Blvd" exits off two different "parkways" is not cool, since the Merrick Blvds are not the same road. Also, they should not both be exit 24. Also, the idea of having streets named "Jerusalem Ave" or "Jerusalem Blvd" is not cool either, especially when they are not the same road.

Dear People who Plan Weddings,
Please make sure your directions are correct on the invitations. Please drive the route to make sure the street names match what they say on Google Maps. Because Google Maps is often wrong. Please put directions or a map with your invitation for people who are driving from out of town. Please also indicate if there we are not to exit at the FIRST Merrick Blvd, exit 24, but we are to wait until the SECOND Merrick Blvd, exit 24.

Dear People who name streets on Long Island,
Get a clue.

Dear NY Drivers,
Look, there's traffic. It goes on for miles and miles. Anticipate it. And try a little patience. Because we cannot go any faster than the people in front of us. It's just physics, not anything personal. Deal with it and stop honking.

Dear Brooklyn,
Your signs are funny. "Leaving Brooklyn: Fuggeddaboutit"

Dear Brooklyn,
Charging $10 to cross a bridge is even more atrocious than charging $8 from NJ to Staten Island. It cost us nearly $30 to drive 250 miles. Not cool, man.


1 comment:

Randi said...

I love your wee letters, Crusteja.